Brandon and I were able to go to the Sunday morning session of Conference last week. On our way back to the car, we were a part of the exodus of people rushing from one corner to the other, waiting upon lights to change green. It was cold, windy and rainy.
We had just barely heard not only words from several leaders, but most importantly from the prophet of our day, the Lord's chosen servant. He talked to us about serving others, implored us to ask ourselves each day, "What have I done for someone today?". Even more, we heard the Spirit speak to us through the hymn "Have I Done Any Good In the World Today" sung to us by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, one of the best choirs in the nation.
As we were at one corner waiting for a white man to appear in a black box, I noticed a woman dressed in a winter coat, holding a sign in one hand and a small bucket in the other; not a new scene for any one of us. This oh so common scene is one that I always struggle with. I usually spend the entire rest of my day thinking about that person with the sign I saw, whether I imparted with him some of what I have been financially blessed with - gifted - or not. It has been many years since I ever felt ok with saying to myself, "Well if she would get off her rear and do something..." or "I'm sure he's faking it; he probably has a large home to return to". For some reason, the vast numbers of people who live in poverty is a reality I struggle to cope with and something I will not let stand.
Thoughts of newly wed finances, this internal struggle I always have of whether to give or not, and a prophets words filled my mind. Then I began to notice the hundreds of people walking by this woman; where was their struggle of decision, their hesitation? Seemingly missing. I was appalled with my own people. "Did they not just listen to our prophet? Please do not tell me that this many people did not even listen to what the Prophet just said."
My sadness increased as I saw that my dollar was the only thing in her bucket. If anything, on that day and in that spot, she should have received more than on any other occasion.
I regret, from the moment I took my first step away from her, that I did not give her more that I didn't even say something like, "God loves you" or "Everything will be fine", words that I have not only heard since infancy but words that are so easy to believe because my life is so easy. May God always bless me with a dollar in my pocket.
1 comment:
Thanks for your thoughts, Ange. So many people including myself get so caught up in our own lives that we just don't allow time to pay attention to what is going on around us. However, I have learned when I come upon situations like this to repeat the scripture in my head from King Benjamin's talk: 'if I had I would give' and then remind myself that I do give fast offerings...not that that excuses myself from giving in any other way, but it does lend itself to my plea to God that I'm doing the best I can with what I have. A key for us all is just to listen to the Spirit...sometimes He tells you to help one way, sometimes another way.
It's also hard to stop our natural man not only from judging the beggars but also from judging those who give and those who do not give. I'm so glad God will only compare us with ourselves and our unique circumstances. We have to trust that in the end it will all be fair because of justice and His mercy.
How awesome you got to be there! I miss being so close to conference. Love you!
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